How To Get David Beckham back in news!!! (Celebrity Solutions)
posted in Celebrity Gossips |- Hang your lil son Cruz up side down from the balcony a la Michael Jackson style.
- Next time you are on the pitch, try biting off the opposition goalie’s ears, Mike Tyson could help you with that.
- Marry your wife Victoria again (possibly thrice), think Pamela for this one.
- Get drunk and punch someone a black eye in the bar. Wayne Rooney is the best to know more about this.
- Drunken driving, time tested formula… Recent exponents of this art include Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson.
- Wardrobe Malfunction… You need to buy the patents for this one from Hollywood actresses association; they are the sole authority to help you with this…
1. Hang your lil son Cruz up side down from the balcony a la Micheal Jackson style.
Michael Jackson is always in news, though it’s a different thing that nowadays it’s only because of lawsuits. But none of his law suits or pedophilia allegations against him could bring him as much publicity (read criticism and media bashing) than the incident where he his child out from the balcony, for the world and his fans to behold. Not a bad way for David Beckham to strike back, though it is quite sure it will be at his own peril!!!
2. Next time you are on the pitch, try biting off the opposition goalie’s ears,
Mike Tyson could help you with that. Mike Tyson has always resembled a bull in the ring. If he exhibited the sexual tendencies of those by raping a woman in a toilet, he gave amble evident of this animalistic gastronomic sense (carnivorous type) by biting Evander Holyfeild’s ears in year 1996. Media always followed him, after this incident some animal rights activists joined the chorus (‘cos they didn’t like negative publicity for the animals, you see)
3. Marry your wife Victoria again (possibly thrice), think Pamela for this one.
By marrying the same guy thrice the bay watch babe has proven that there are guys (Read Kid Rock), who don’t learn from their mistakes and a million others who can tolerate fake busts, as long as you keep flashing them over and over and over again (Recall value, I say)
4.Get drunk and punch someone a black eye in the bar. Wayne Rooney is the best to know more about this.
Wayne Rooney scores fewer goals for Manchester United than the number of guys he beats up in the bars in England. But who cares as long as his strike rate (I didn’t mean the goal scoring rate) remains high, none seems to be complaining.
5. Drunken driving, time tested formula… Recent exponents of this art include Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson.
As pointed above it’s a time tested formula, the moment you are out of news hit the bar and then hit the accelerator, abusing or assaulting the cops will always be handy though you can also do with some anti-semantic comments. Mel Gibson recently learnt about this and the results have been quite overwhelming.
6.Wardrobe Malfunction… You need to buy the patents for this one from Hollywood actresses association; they are the sole authority to help you with this…
Janet Jackson made this phrase a household name, and since such has been its roaring success that any one following this principle becomes a household name instantly. Hollywood has more talk of the malfunctions of wardrobe than the wardrobes themselves. From nip-slips, to a few deliberate incidents of forgetting your undies, every thing goes in tinsel town… you hide a lil and you reveal a lil more, the bottom-line is, that it’s the next best thing to be naked…
P.S. (psst. a lil bird says David could still think about another Rebecca Loos, if all the above tips fail.. 
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